Self confidence

I found myself in class recently working with a younger man who was a brown belt.  And although I'm about 17 years his senior in age, a creeping feeling came into my mind:

Is he having a problem with the kick because he watched me?

Am I doing it wrong and he is following me?

Most of this came from my last black belt test for 2nd dan.  I was succinctly warned by one of the masters that I had to be extra careful, because people will pay attention to me as a senior belt.

What followed was something that plagued me since I was promoted to black belt.

I don't feel like I have arrived

Years ago, when I studied Tae Kwon Do, I would meet black belts and comment how much they must know, and how impressed I was.  I did this in a manner of humility and not "sucking up".  To be honest I don't remember the exact words but they would always come back with the statement:

 A black belt means you are just beginning to learn

I always thought to my self the following  "What kind of mystic Eastern crap is that!?"  years later I finally understood it, because I was now walking in their shoes!  I gave it about 3 years of thought and then decided to go to my Sensei (Kyoshi Wilcox).  I explained this concern with him. He looked at me and said, "You know what you call that!?"  He then leaned towards with wild eyes (quite the norm for him) and said "You call it NORMAL"

We all go through stages in life where, perhaps we feel less than adequate or wonder what others are thinking.  To a degree this is normal.  He later shared with me that to feel like you have arrived or, you are owed something is abnormal and bad.  Heres a few Biblical examples:


We read that Moses fled Egypt for killing a man and lived for 40 years in exile.  Keep in mind that he was trained as a Prince; the heir apparent of Pharaoh.  Moses was a statesman, General and scholar!  but he didn't have humility  "Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall"  The prophet Amos was a shepherd and tree trimmer, not well suited and trained by the standards of those days, but he spoke of what he knew and was effective enough to be called and recorded in scripture.  True, they had the call of God on them and obeyed, but notice what God did!  never discount your learning and abilities to be used some day!



 The martial arts is about growth and development, much like Christianity and life in general; it is a journey not a destination! It only stands to reason that we should be careful how we step because there are always people above and below you and some will undoubtedly look at how you step.

So, where does my title come in?

The best way to explain it is by telling you a story back from 1991 when I was in the Army.  I went to the U.S. Army Air Assault school where I learned about sling loading equipment from the bottom of a helicopter and how to rapel.  The instructors would tell us horror stories about not having the rapel seat tight and even a soldier who was severely injured when the rope was caught in between his leg and one of his . . .  uh never mind, but you get the point.  As a bunch of young men we were now scared silly about losing part of our manliness.  This is when I received a bit of sage wisdom I have not forgotten since.  the instructor said:

At some point, you have to have faith in your equipment

And so it is with our training.  if you attend a reputable school that has a good mix of tradition and common sense training, you may not get everything 100% correct all of the time, but you will understand the concepts to make things work and still be a good example to all. In martial arts, we wear belts as a sign of rank.  In the Army, schools are represented by badges worn, but in the church our hard fought tests are shown by our character and spirit and only sometimes by a position or calling in the church.

Incidentally, we were doing inside and outside crescent kicks, and the rhythm was a bit odd.

Overall, you .must have faith in your equipment (training). and let your good actions speak louder than words

Sincerely 

Your Brother in Christ

And  Senpai in Karate 

先輩

Heart

I had the opportunity to attend an amateur MMA fight venue in Clinton, Missouri.  Although I have been back in the martial arts since 2003, because of my commitments and job I have not had the opportunity to do much more than train and socialize with my classmates at the Dojo.  I have found out that being a black belt does entail meeting others and becoming more involved in your art. I guess this is one of the more benign meanings of "networking".

Anyway, with that out of the way I got to help out at my friend Brandon Holmes' fight.  Basically, all I did was drive Sensei and Brandon down to Clinton.  Sensei had eye surgery and didn't need to drive (which pleased and relieved his wife).  Brandon was going to be a bit too overdosed on his own adrenalin, so therefore was a disqualified driving candidate as well.
I helped him warm up on the focus pads as well . . . adrenalin? Oh yeah! he had waaaay too much!  For the past few months, we knew this day was coming and I have been in the Dojo a few mornings a week training with him, and being a technique tester as well . . . *ouch*.  He very trained hard with Sensei and went the full 3 rounds.  the fight was by decision and went to the other man, Cody Kreitler.  It was a good fight, and although he lost, many other people told him he did a good job, because he should have "tapped out" several times from the locks and chokes he was put in . . but then turned them around on his opponent and never gave in. In the aftermath, you always get to dissect things and figure them out.  This was the case here.  Many times over, the word "Heart" was used. that "heart" was his tenacity and drive not to stop.  There were a couple of ugly locks on the floor, and although the causal observer does not understand some of the grappling moves, these techniques could have easily ended the fight.  My point is that Brandon did not give up.

I like that.

Kreitler Vs Holmes Sorry Brandon I couldn't get a good face shot for you!

There are so many things that people start in life and then give up.  This can be justified or unjustified, but sometimes an excuse is just that.... a way of justifying lack of preparation, training or knowledge. The gist of what Brandon stated was that there was a ring doctor and referee there, but more importantly Sensei was there as well.  He wanted to go the distance and do his best.  He lost by a few points from each ring judge. Even in this decision there could still be seen the heart of someone that was always a winner, and for him it is only a matter of time!

Success and failure do not start at some interim success, but start in the head.... and getting out of bed.... and "making" yourself do the stuff that the body doesn't find comfortable.

This venue was my first but also different, because most of the crowd there had a martial arts background, not just UFC or straight MMA.  The crowd was polite and everyone got along really well.  At the fighters and trainers meeting, before we dismissed there was even a prayer offered.  I was happy and pleased that everyone kept God at the center of what they did. The participants recognized it was a sport event, and at the end Martial warriors shared a special bond of respect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9c4mLrFJ9Y&feature=player_detailpage
A link to the fight on video

This venue could be considered in light of our walk and way as well. Failures may come across our way, but can we really call them “failures”?   They are more like stepping stones. Let me leave you with one verse of scripture:

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again
    Proverbs 24:16

For context read the link through verse 18.  An honest effort for the right reasons will never keep a person down!