Verbal Judo: The book

I don't know what penchant it is that makes me fond of old books.  It could be that King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes that "There is no new thing under the sun"  and he also said that of making books "There is no end, and much study weareth the body"
Having said that, where does this leave my desire to read old books?  Well, probably that any information or story has probably already been told and a book is just a re-telling of previously known information yet unbeknownst to us!
Sometimes an older book on a particular subject, as long as it is not technology, will give us a richer view of the matter at hand.  Despite the internet, I still own a set of encyclopedias and use them from time to time.  I heard about a particular subject a while back called Verbal Judo.  Although the system was originally directed at law enforcement, the book by the late Dr George Thompson is the psychological adaptation of speaking that he compares with physical Judo.  Using an opponents words to create a win-win situation in communication.

One of the main reasons I purchased the book was because I have communication problems at home.  When I taught at a technical college, I found that I had communication problems with some of the students as well.  So, since I am on a journey to be the best I can, I wanted to work on this area a bit more.

Lo and behold, I found a wealth of information in this book.  Some may say that books can give information, but life will give us a true education.

This is where wisdom comes in.  A book is good if we know how to read in interpret the information contained therein.  Not every book is worthy of our time and effort.  I was once given a book to read by a national talk show host.  It was so negative within the first 25 pages, that I made the pinnacle decision to give it back to my friend.  that is when I realized to choose what you read carefully and don't be afraid to give it back.

Sir Francis Bacon said "Some books are to be tasted, others tasted and chewed, and others tasted, chewed and thoroughly digested"

Secondly, another old book gave some advice on reading.  That was to train your mind to be like that of a miner digging for diamonds.  Throw away the useless information and only keep the jewels!

So is Verbal Judo!  I found that Dr Thompson was a former police officer that compared psychological principles, Asian philosophical adages, and street common sense to form a system that is fairly effective in dealing with talking to people. 

Some of this information is just common sense as I've said.  We need to watch our voice when we talk to people.  the tone, inflection and the realization that we are viewed differently that how we see our selves, and that may make a big difference.
A big subject that stood out to me was the fact that empathy is a huge part in understanding people.  I should have heard this in bible college, but only remember some remote teachings when we studied the book of Job!
the other factors that stuck out in the book were techniques and styles to use when dealing with people, and some really good information that he says can apply to dealing with teenagers.  My oldest is only 10, so I have a few years to perfect this before the deluge of attitude comes!

I recommend this book, it's a really good read and is a tool in the arsenal of anyone who would rather do as the great general Sun Tsu said" 
"To win without fighting is the zenith of excellence"

Self confidence

I found myself in class recently working with a younger man who was a brown belt.  And although I'm about 17 years his senior in age, a creeping feeling came into my mind:

Is he having a problem with the kick because he watched me?

Am I doing it wrong and he is following me?

Most of this came from my last black belt test for 2nd dan.  I was succinctly warned by one of the masters that I had to be extra careful, because people will pay attention to me as a senior belt.

What followed was something that plagued me since I was promoted to black belt.

I don't feel like I have arrived

Years ago, when I studied Tae Kwon Do, I would meet black belts and comment how much they must know, and how impressed I was.  I did this in a manner of humility and not "sucking up".  To be honest I don't remember the exact words but they would always come back with the statement:

 A black belt means you are just beginning to learn

I always thought to my self the following  "What kind of mystic Eastern crap is that!?"  years later I finally understood it, because I was now walking in their shoes!  I gave it about 3 years of thought and then decided to go to my Sensei (Kyoshi Wilcox).  I explained this concern with him. He looked at me and said, "You know what you call that!?"  He then leaned towards with wild eyes (quite the norm for him) and said "You call it NORMAL"

We all go through stages in life where, perhaps we feel less than adequate or wonder what others are thinking.  To a degree this is normal.  He later shared with me that to feel like you have arrived or, you are owed something is abnormal and bad.  Heres a few Biblical examples:


We read that Moses fled Egypt for killing a man and lived for 40 years in exile.  Keep in mind that he was trained as a Prince; the heir apparent of Pharaoh.  Moses was a statesman, General and scholar!  but he didn't have humility  "Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall"  The prophet Amos was a shepherd and tree trimmer, not well suited and trained by the standards of those days, but he spoke of what he knew and was effective enough to be called and recorded in scripture.  True, they had the call of God on them and obeyed, but notice what God did!  never discount your learning and abilities to be used some day!



 The martial arts is about growth and development, much like Christianity and life in general; it is a journey not a destination! It only stands to reason that we should be careful how we step because there are always people above and below you and some will undoubtedly look at how you step.

So, where does my title come in?

The best way to explain it is by telling you a story back from 1991 when I was in the Army.  I went to the U.S. Army Air Assault school where I learned about sling loading equipment from the bottom of a helicopter and how to rapel.  The instructors would tell us horror stories about not having the rapel seat tight and even a soldier who was severely injured when the rope was caught in between his leg and one of his . . .  uh never mind, but you get the point.  As a bunch of young men we were now scared silly about losing part of our manliness.  This is when I received a bit of sage wisdom I have not forgotten since.  the instructor said:

At some point, you have to have faith in your equipment

And so it is with our training.  if you attend a reputable school that has a good mix of tradition and common sense training, you may not get everything 100% correct all of the time, but you will understand the concepts to make things work and still be a good example to all. In martial arts, we wear belts as a sign of rank.  In the Army, schools are represented by badges worn, but in the church our hard fought tests are shown by our character and spirit and only sometimes by a position or calling in the church.

Incidentally, we were doing inside and outside crescent kicks, and the rhythm was a bit odd.

Overall, you .must have faith in your equipment (training). and let your good actions speak louder than words

Sincerely 

Your Brother in Christ

And  Senpai in Karate 

先輩

Thou Shalt not kill

There was once a Sunday school teacher that was teaching a Bible lesson to her class.  Upon finishing she asked if there was a bible verse that taught how family members should treat each other.  One child raised his hand and answered “thou shalt not kill”.

At face value this seems to be a very easy answer on killing, but quite another on how we should talk to and treat our brothers and sisters.  The fact of the matter is that many people truly do not know the proper meanings of scriptures.  No, I do not claim to have some “exclusive apostolic prophetic” meanings.  I only mean that if we compare scripture with scripture in it’s context and dispensation we will see various scriptures that agree with a certain direction.  That is basically how the central doctrines of the Bible came to be!

My point today to tell you a story about a family member . . . For the purposes of this blog we will refer to them as “Fred”.  Consider these points:

• Is it wrong to fight back?

• How hard do you hit?

Is it wrong to fight back?

Fred is in an abusive relationship and is uncomfortable with fighting back, for fear of the consequences that would follow.  He is able to fight, but has no desire.  By the way this is a verbal confrontation not a physical one. 
 It seemed to me that this is a conundrum that is faced by Christian and martial artist alike.  The famous general Sun Tzu said that to win a fight without fighting was a greater victory.  Another old adage in Karate is “There is no first strike (initiative) in Karate”
The problem with fighting is knowing when to fight and when not.  In Fred’s case he is too nice and the time has come, in my opinion, to fight.
Normally I do not get involved in such things, but I had to speak my peace, because it strung a deep chord within myself about how people can be manipulative and controlling over another person.  It usually starts with minor control, then escalates.  This is the case with Fred.  As I understand it, he has been controlled for quite some time.  My (listened to but perhaps not wanted) advice was, if you want peace, you must strike back with one good hit to the “chops” and the other person will back off.  A bully is a bully because someone facilitates him/her.

How hard do you hit?

When we look at scripture we see two verses in Proverbs that agree with this:

• Ecclesiastes 3:1
• Proverbs 26:4-5

There is a time and place for everything, even to rebuke a fool!
A definite stopping action to a bully will usually cause the bully to back off.  Just because were grown ups doesn’t mean that people cannot be bullies!

It also means that even adults need to be ready to respond back to stop it as well.

What do you think?

Humility and the Martial way

One thing I noticed when I studied Tae Kwon Do was the black belts.  I admired they’d “made it”.  When I asked, they would almost say the exact opposite: “No, I haven’t made it, I’m just beginning to learn”

What!?
Is this some type of Zen stuff!?  you are a Black Belt!!

Today let me share three things I have found:

• We are on a journey
• It’s not a sin to be ignorant, but should be one to remain
• We are life-long learners

Christianity is not a destination it is a journey!

Lo and behold, years later I FINALLY understood what they meant!  Earning a black belt is no easy task.  Then you realize that black belt is not a destination, it is only one stop on a JOURNEY!
After my first stop, I understand that we never stop learning; even more so when you go to 1st Dan or higher!
Shouldn’t it be this way in every part of life?  As a Christian I realize that it takes only a moment to become a Christian with the prayer of salvation (Accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior)  but it takes an entire life to become a saint!


I had the opportunity to attend a karate seminar with my teacher Kyoshi Wilcox. The attendees were good old Okinawan Kenpo people.  I met instructors I had heard about and participated in the weapons seminar.

This is when I had to practice what I preach.

It's not a sin to be ignorant (but should be one to remain)

I love the way of the empty hand, but it is necessary to also know the traditional weapons.  This is an area that I know that I am deficient with.  Just as I said earlier in Opportunities, this is a chance to learn and behave as I have been taught.  There I was with lower ranking belts, (sometimes we can learn more from beginners than intermediate levels.  Think: basics are that important!) 
I am a black belt, I should know Kobudo. It was time to get serious as this is a requirement for advancement.  This is also an excellent opportunity because my Sensei is the best Kobudo man in the Mid-West!

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We are life long learners

So, here I am, with a bunch of lower ranking belts, and a few looking at me (for direction?) I flatly said I don’t know weapons, then went on not to let the awkward moment result in pride or humiliation welling up.  I know that if I can get the sequence of a kata, I will hone the points down to where they go and learn bunkai as well.  If I passed belt tests, and can teach and speak to 8 classes a week, I can surely do this!

With God’s grace and emptying out pride I learned humbly along with two blue belts and a yellow belt.  Pride has no place in Karate… nor in the church.

Just look at three scriptures:

1. James 4:1-10, but specifically verse 10
2. I Corinthians 10:12 (in context with 9:27-10:13)
3. Proverbs 16:18